Wellness Consultant Gifts

Be Healthy

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"This is nice … let’s not hop again tomorrow."

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

Bad for you but to die for

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

Unguided imagery

"Is that your idea of a well balanced diet"

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

"I think you put too much healthy food in our smart refrigerator. It's about to spit it all out."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

'Well, this is a first †he's got repetitive motion syndrome from eating!'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

"He says that when he had a vegetable salad as an appetizer, he can now have burgers, pizza and Coke as a reward."

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

The new diet not working out too good, huh, Frank?

'You've still got the right stuff, only now it's in the wrong places.'

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

'When are you going to learn to relax?'

"We don't offer a health-care plan. Instead, we have Lou persuade you not to get sick."

Final words on gravestones.

Valleyview diet clinic

Tree Pose To Support

"May I offer you a side of life insurance?"

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

"Our medical benefits are quite limited, basically we send you a memo telling you to take more exercise."