Self-care Consultant Gifts

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

Self help acupuncture

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

Work/Life Balance

Take the time to do something nice for yourself. Your kids will thank you. That is, if you ever decide to have them.

Bad fake tan day.

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

Be Healthy

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

Bad hair day!

Surfing the daily stress

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

A man sprays his bald head with "Spray Hair" to make it seem as thought he has hair.

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"I never thought turning eighty would be so much fun!"

"Try thinking about something else."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

Vending machine: NO stress, only 50 cents.

"When troubles begin to take their toll, it’s nice to take a little stroll!"

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"You left your demons here last week."

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

Dating is so expensive...

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Pampered and poodled.