Health Teacher Gifts

Condom-Man to the rescue!

'He's beginning to notice girls.'

'My mum's just given me a positive talk about sex...'

Condom Monitor.

Student to mother: 'What a day. The health teacher left school sick, the debate team got expelled for fighting, the biology teacher dissected the school mascot, and the glee club, in general, went berserk.'

A Puppet Named Juan

Where your mind & battle are los

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Computer Room.

Gender Equality

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"Did I hear the dog in here?"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

At the Museum

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'C'mon get it straight.'