Teachers Promoting Health Gifts

School Lunches and Childhood Obesity.

Children's Parties

Campaign for Plain English

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'It's a difficult job, he needed a bigger than average 'stress ball'.'

"What's that mark on your arm, Mama?"

"Well, I had 'the talk' with him.

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Changing Minds

The Gospel According To Jane Brody"Orange, come in. Apple, come in. Hey you, frankfurter, hold it right there."

Distance to avoid contagion

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

Non-Denominational Carols

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Toy Shops and Educated Children

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

'Kids, today, Xerf brought in a planet that he found. Now if we look at it closely under the microscope, you can still see it's inhabitants scrambling around.'

The Kids' Table at the Last Supper

"He just said his first word!"

The Evolution Of Man.

'I prefer the term 'whistleblower' to tattletale.'

'We'd like to form a support group for homework anxiety.'

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'A is for Arse.'

Arthur Schopenhauer

WHO checklist

"Have your parents sign this waiver concerning violations of personal space. . . then you guys can play tag."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

Centaur for Disease Control Says Wear a Mask

Burnout Syndrome...

"I got all Z's because I fell asleep in class."

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."