School Health Gifts

My job is mostly seasonal. The busiest times are cold season, flu season, and allergy season.

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

2021

Computer Room.

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'The creative process works best with a relaxed brain, so I'm letting my mind wander to let a solution drift in.'

I will study my speling words...

"Waiting for the vaccine launch."

vaccine wars.

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Your contents have shifted."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis