Children's Health Gifts

'You should give her a bigger breakfast - She's just eaten my thermometer!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'Tell the doctor that I'm too sick to see him.'

The tuck stops here - childhood obesity.

Paediatric medicine

"Shall I put the strawberry in now?"

"I just had a terrifying glimpse into our snack."

"One more deep drag."

'I don't feel that bad.'

'He'll eat green vegetables... but only with chocolate syrup on them.'

Hickory, Dickory Doc...Pediatricians

'I'll see the ones with clean underwear first.'

"Don't worry son. We're going to get you the best money that medicine can buy."

"Careful with that corn. It's a gateway food to other vegetables."

"Broccoli isn't hab-bad if you hab a code."

"It's a game changer. . . carrots and hummous batons but we've managed to make them out of sugar."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

'Well, well, well...'

Lactose Intolerant

Mister Mid-Life Crisis