Kids' Health Gifts

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Cool snack, Tommy! My folks are into health foods too!'

"I'll take your word for it. You don't have to show me your used floss."

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

2021

"Good For You / Bad For You"

"I don't think you're getting enough stress."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

What the Doctor Ordered

Lady drying hair whilst on exercise bike.

Lactose Intolerant

'Well, well, well...'

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

"It's not the social stigma. It's the mercury."

"Your contents have shifted."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'Not that sort of body building program!'

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

"If we carry them home we’ll get at least one workout."

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

Express Barber Chair for Chemo Patients

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."