Teen Health Gifts

"It looks like your son has problem skin."

"Three more years of high school."

The Brothers Grime

"He's gone goth"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"Maybe if I make myself inconspicuous I won't be called on."

PROBLEM AREAS

'You know they've reached puberty when they're more interested in Dr. Ruth than Babe Ruth.'

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

'I think there was a typo in the lab instructions.'

"I've tracked our GPS coordinates over the past week dad. Well, we're roaming the plains alright!"

"My parents said that until I find a job and move out they will not recognize me as a sentient being."

Fishbowl rebellion.

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

"Shouldn't you use a plate?"

"Looking cool in a car takes practice."

"Having a cat will prepare us for having a teenager one day."

'It's either a boo-boo or an owwie, but the doctors need to run some more tests before they decide.'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

Teenage Angst.

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

'Dad, can I borrow the club tonight?'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

'I'm going to bed...whatever...'

'Don't forget to put gas in the car and the mower.'

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

"Another barnacle?!" "I was a teenage creature."