E-learning Instructor Gifts

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Pajama Day 743

'You don't have to worry about my future any more- I just downloaded an entire college education.'

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

Kirsten Johnson

Technologies and distance classes

'Leadership training.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"A virus ate my homework."

Professor McWit, Didn't Publish, So Perished.

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

2 + 2 = 4. 2 x 2 = 4. Oh, I get it! It's a Zen thing!

'Professor Higgenbottom will have the number π and I'll have the number √-i.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

Professor Isaac goes off on another tangent.

'After being here for more than forty years - as undergraduate, graduate student instructor, professor - what saddens me most is that this was not the college of my choice.'

"This is a teaching hospital."

Psychology Dept. Faculty Evaluations Today. I can't tell if it's my id or my ego, but I'm really craving a promotion.

'Forget everything I told you about flying.'

'It's for cutting and pasting.'

'Why can't we just go to school.org?'

Physics 101. An object in motion remaining in motion is an example of what law? Easy come, easy go!

'Teachers' Dreams.''Did you just say F***? Care to repeat it so everyone can hear you or is even a four letter word beyond your abilities? ... And the state expects me to make you multisyllabic.'

"And when the little hand gets to the nine, it means... ah, just check your cell phones."

"But you said that to make it start, I had to 'Boot it up'!"

Econ 101. Can you explain the phrase "Talk is cheap"? It's because the supply always exceeds the demand.

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

"Be careful, dear. People tend to lose control when faced with the newfound freedom of their first year of tenure."

Education.

"… and once you've finished advanced infantry training, you'll be assigned to film school."