Island Survival Humorist Gifts

'I say! Fancy a date, old thing?'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Shark food pyramid.

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

Dear Diary, 36 weeks on this island and I'm starting to feel that I'll never get rescued."

Tsunami Evac Route

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

Scene on the English coast.

'You are here' sign on desert island.

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'Have you ever wondered how deep the ocean would be without sponges?'

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

"Now you can send it."

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

"Don't even bother – this oasis only has two and a half stars."

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

'Oh no, he's only the Health and Safety Officer.'

"What's that clicking sound?"

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

Jelly Fish

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

Before we can rescue you...you need a safety check.