Island Survivor Humorist Gifts

'I need to see your latest energy bill. You may be eligible for a discount.'

'Phew, now, where can i plug my mobile in?'

Swine flu.

'Luxury cruise you said!'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'If we hadn't outsourced the staff, we could've eaten them.'

Shark food pyramid.

'Bottled water or other non-carbonated diet beverage!'

Scene on the English coast.

'You are here' sign on desert island.

"If you hurry, you can make the matinée."

"You can find me on Inkedin."

Ocean Liners will be Ocean Liners

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"It's odd, but once I'm full, the last thing I want to smell is blood in the water."

'It is truly embrarrassing Doc: I faint at the sight of blood... Can you help me?'

"Sure he's cute, but we should have discussed this."

'Rest assured, your fear of harpoons is anything but irrational.'

Jelly Fish

"What's that clicking sound?"

Randy, if you were stranded on an island, what's the one book you'd want to have along with you? Easy: Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. It's got the perfect heft to knock coconuts out of trees. Well, I'd like to have How to Get off an Island, by Archie MacGuyver. That title's actually a metaphor for overcoming shyness. We really should have our own book review show.

'We told you if you submitted one more desert island cartoon...'

'I'm sorry I didn't practice this week, Mrs. Tinklemeyer. I just had so many distractions!

'I'm not sure Dad, but I think I wet the bed.'

Orca-nized crime - 'I want you to find Finny Dorsalni and make him sleep with the humans.'

Post global warming desert island cartoons.

"I get it...you went south for the winter. Now, don't you think it's time to ditch the shirt?"

'Are you going anywhere near a chemist?'

'Hello, my name is Sam. Come to this watering hole very often?'

Republican Beach. . . Nature Preserve rule: EAT OR BE EATEN!

'Yeah, I know, but don't worry, I've scared the living daylights out of him: He'll never spear-fish again...'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

When the prey becomes the predator.

'I told you. I'll be home with dinner just as soon as it dies.'