Ironic Nutritionist Humor Gifts

"Yes, fish is healthy, but not really when it's battered, deep-fried and serve with tartare sauce and chips!"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Dr. Saltine, pioneer of salt transplants.

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

'The customer is always right...'

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Heart Disease Menu

"I've had enough sweets for one day."

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

Free Range Chickens

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'The items with the little hearts will clog your arteries the fastest.'

Spanx Tells Me No

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

You are what you eat

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"There were days he could kill for a piece of tofu."

Hello, sir, we're the post-Halloween, leftover candy, concerned citizens patrol.

Live yogurt.

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

Angry Santa Letter

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

A little green pepper means 'vegetarian." A little red heart means "heart healthy." And a little skull and crossbones means "I really shouldn't , but

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

'...and it has much less cholesterol than beef.'