Nutritional Humor Gifts

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'The customer is always right...'

"Do you realize what the sodium content of this water is?"

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

"We learnt about nutrition at school today Mum: Our diet didn't rate well at all..."

'When I die could you preserve my liver for medical research? You've done that already.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

You are what you eat

A worm sits in comfort as he has just eaten 4 apples by himself...

'I don't like to complain, but I'm getting a little tired of crudités.'

"How come there's a forbidden fruit but not a forbidden vegetable?"

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

"There were days he could kill for a piece of tofu."

'Does it come in soy lite?'

'I'm not really hungry but I keep eating tons of fish because I need the Omega 3 fish oil to help lower my triglycerides.'

"We shouldn't have sugar, wine, beer, cake...we may not live longer but it sure will feel as if we do!"

"I'm afraid a hearing aid will make me look old."

"Patient. . . seems. . . reluctant. . . to get his. . . prostate. . . checked. . ."

Angry Santa Letter

Diet Donuts - (Bigger holes).

Woman with sardine tin with warning that it may contain mutant whale-size sardines.

'This is spinach, Grandma. Spinach isn't grandmotherly.'

"Sure, dead meat is good...it's just that sometimes I'd like a nice salad or a fruit cup!"

"If you want fiber, madame, I suggest you eat the menu."

CITY CLINIC: 'I want to see whichever doctor is the fattest.'

'...We only eat dry cat food out here.'

'Crickets are chock full of carbs!'

'I tell you what: Mistress' lap was so much more comfortable before she started her diet...'

"On this diet, you can eat all you want of anything you can grow."

Egyptians stuck in position line up to see the chiropractor.