Ironic Hipster Pillows

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"He's deliciously vintage."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

Gangsta wrap.

Boy copying abstract artwork in an art gallery.

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Hipster Police Department

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Woke Jersey Shore

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I'm your hip replacement."

Hipster Coffee

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."