Hipster With A Taste For Irony Pillows

"Yeah, single origin coffee - from this pot."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Mac's Bait and Sushi Shop

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Old rocker.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

Gangsta wrap.

A train's dining car is a diner.

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Hipster Police Department

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Hotel mini-bar.

"Nothing can be done about crime unless you deal with the root causes in the environment."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."