Hipster Humor Appreciator Pillows

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Mister Bundles VS. The Martians - Party Twenty Three

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Your animal companionship is here!"

Cheesie Rider

God with Earth Controller

"I'm a monster."

"Overkill, dude."

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"If find people express themslves more freely in traffic jams."

Mummy Shrink.

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

"Oh, I don't do the test myself Sir: Doctor Vampire does it..."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

Gangsta wrap.

"Curiosity."

Hipster Police Department

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."