Hipster Humor Fan Pillows

"I'm looking to downsize..."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

Gangsta wrap.

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

What your guitar says about you.

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Hipster Police Department

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Hipster Coffee

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Cars.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"Something a little different this time or would sir care to look like a dick again?"

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."