Hipster Satirist Pillows

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Gee, thanks pal."

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

Emergency Hipster Beard

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"I'm starting my own movement—Occupy Fifty-Seventh Street."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Looks Like They're Finally Renovating The Toilet

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"I swear, Mr. Drumpf, I meant it in the best sense of the word." "Mr. Drumpf is a moron."

German School

"What are you doing?"

Plight of Decent-White-Male-Middle Class Scapgoats.

'I use my Blackberry all the time to check the competition's executive bonuses.'

"You can't offend me. I never mix religion or politics with reality."

Bank P45's - 'Cashier number 5 please.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Man with dollar sign on his t-shirt.

The Evolution Of Man

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"I learned about the despotism at the same time you did."

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'