Hipster Humor Lover Pillows

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

"Dios mio! I don't want a whole bag of cookies! Just one!"

Word up!

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

Gangsta wrap.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

Hipster Police Department

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

Hipster Coffee

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

"Hulk hate puny barista’s rosette pattern latte art!!"

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."