Hipster Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"We're actually gossiping at a water cooler instead of on social media. Does this make us hipsters?"

"I'm not Santa, kid-I'm just an overweight hipster with a bag full of dumpster garbage."

"I think we can relax, they're not lumberjacks after all: They're hipsters..."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

Emergency Hipster Beard

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

Gangsta wrap.

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Hipster Police Department

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

Sculptor explaining to tourist in Trafalgar Square that sculpture of pigeon is called 'Retribution - it actually doubles as a giant privy!'

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

"I'm your hip replacement."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Hipster Coffee

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"Something a little different this time or would sir care to look like a dick again?"