Hipster Humor Pillows

Small-Batch Banking

"Here we are now, these are hash browns."

"A hipster beard AND a top-knot! - no wonder you've been sent here...!"

"See, honey? No hipsters under your bed."

"Lose the man bun and shave your head."

Does everything have to be vintage with you Hipsters?

Zeke only drinks craft hootch from a micro-still nowadays.

"I THINK he said that he'll be glad when this fashion for bushy beards will be over!"

"Say when."

A dentist needs to sheer his patient's beard to get to his mouth.

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Joined at the hipster.

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Spontaneous Kombucha

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

'It's just full of dirty laundry but it makes me feel much more hip.'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

Gangsta wrap.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."