Hipster Humorer Pillows

"All the produce is farm-to-floor."

'Do you have any Cheese and Pickle?

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

Your Guide to Winning Movember

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

Gangsta wrap.

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Hipster Police Department

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"I'm your hip replacement."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Homing Beatnik

Hipster Coffee

Baby clinging to beard

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

Designer Republic of Shoreditch