Hipster Humor Lover Gifts

"I'm excited to leave this party we're going to."

"Dios mio! I don't want a whole bag of cookies! Just one!"

Word up!

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

Gangsta wrap.

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"No, we don't have field to plate provenance for each bean."

Hipster Police Department

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

White Flight. Beautification. Gentrification. Plain Old Rich.

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Hipster Coffee

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

"You want to be a WHAT?"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"Hulk hate puny barista’s rosette pattern latte art!!"

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"Money or your beard!"

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."