Hipster Irony Fan Gifts

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

End the Winter Blues

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

Angel wears t-shirt with logo: YOLO.

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

'You keep turning them out and I'll dig a parking garage.'

'I want my lectures to have entertainment value.'

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

Hipster Coffee

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

Gigolo Diary

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but the first minute I saw you I wished you the worst."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

I've got a problem – with me. Counseling costs extra. I always hated BMW owners. But one day I woke up and realized I drive a Saab. People who vacation in the Hamptons give me hives, but I've got a summer spot in Santa Cruz. I protested against big corporate oil companies … wearing a North Face jacket and Nike high tops! Don't you realize what I've become? I'm an upwardly mobile hippy! Death to the huppy. Hates fancy coffee drinks, loves soy milk.

"Believe me, nobody's going to care you had facial hair a hundred million years from today."

"You want to be a WHAT?"

"Hulk hate puny barista’s rosette pattern latte art!!"

'No! No! No! I don't want to die. . . Then why are you carrying that enormous scythe?'

'No, but you're getting warmer.'

A Cold Snap

"Lose the man bun and shave your head."

If the British had been the first to see the Grand Canyon.

Caricature of a chicken

"Regular coffee? Really? Seriously?"

"So....what's the skinny?"

"It appears to have been done with a key to the city, which narrows the suspects."