Hipster Fan Gifts

"This is Beckett. He's going to be the donor for your hipster replacement."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Joined at the hipster.

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"He's deliciously vintage."

'Wilson, this company needs to be better in touch with today's youth. Pierce your nipples and have a report on my desk by Monday.'

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

What your guitar says about you.

"I'm your hip replacement."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Hipster Coffee

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

"Hulk hate puny barista’s rosette pattern latte art!!"

"You want to be a WHAT?"

"Our flavors of the day are Prodigal, Importune, and Mal de Siècle."

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"Something a little different this time or would sir care to look like a dick again?"

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

Hipsters knit their beards.

"Regular coffee? Really? Seriously?"