Hipster Enthusiasts Gifts

"Why speculate? Get your info straight from the source!"

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

Yeah, I'm laughing ironically, too. Hipster Hyenas.

"Man bun, paddleboarding and vaping? Remember, it's our duty as predators to cull out the lame."

Hipster Rope.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Wifi in Hell

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Joined at the hipster.

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Old rocker.

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"He's deliciously vintage."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"As your new CEO, I hereby change 'deadline' to 'soft squiggle.'"

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"There you go bra. Double flat white and homage to Rothko's Seagram series."

A train's dining car is a diner.

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

"I've got something in what used to be a decrepit, run-down, unfashionable area."

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"I'm your hip replacement."

'Coffee and Converstion' vs. 'Beer & Bullshit'

Hipster Coffee

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

"It's all good – but some of it is better."