Ironic Animal Lover Gifts

'I'm just outside feeding the birds.'

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

Pampered Pets.

'Scary movie?'

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

Hog Futures

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

I've been doing sit-ups!

Working from Home

"I've never known a child like him. He's always finding things."

'Fowl!'

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

Cattery and kennels

'Sometimes I feel like people send me Valentine's Day cards just to TICK ME OFF!!'

"Hey, have you ever asked yourself why you need to cross the street before hurling yourself into traffic?"

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

"Don't complain. Remember, last week they had us on martinis."