Animal Lover Irony Gifts

'And how would you like your grass this evening?'

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

Pampered Pets.

'The butler did it.'

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

"I've never known a child like him. He's always finding things."

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

'Noah's wife is allergic to cats.'

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

"Sorry, dude. You've been voted out of the pack!"

"You'll be better off in the Washington swamps."

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

'And the winner for best supporting animal in a frozen ready meal goes to...'

I see you share my hatred for hamsters..

Funky Facts: True or false, Seagulls drink both fresh and salt water?

Veterinary Surgeon

Ok chaps, let's put this cheap Christmas cracker trumpet through its paces!

"I don't know about you, but I am delighted by all this incongruity."

'How many times did I say it? Rex, I said, don't go too close to the cliff.'

"I don't think the new guy is going to work out."

'He's my lawyer.'

Cat's busy calendar

Evolution Update.

Giraffe using a snorkel while fishing.

'I have a banker I would like stuffing.'

"Thank you for your opinions, I will now continue to do as I damn well please."

I'm so happy that this sweater covers everything but my anus and genitalia.

"Oh, God – is that what I look like?"

101 uses of a dead cat: lifejacket

"And I would life for the family to know that he didn't die in vain. He was delicious."

101 uses of a dead cat: bird table

'This kookaburra he's talking to - they're AUSTRALIAN aren't they?'