Animal Irony Gifts

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

"Do me next."

"Yes, it's oil-paint: It's difficult to find water for watercolours around here..."

Cat croissant, cat baguette, cat muffin, cat turnover

"Hey, pal, let's hear 'Doggie in the Window' again, and this time play it like you mean it!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

Snowmobull

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"He's a dedicated lifter, but he always skips leg day."

"Now there's something you don't see everyday. How long have you been using dachshunds as sled dogs.?"

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'After years of practicing in empty theaters, Horace's dream of becoming a soft-shoe dancer seemed as remote as ever.'

Surprised chicken: 'I know. I can't believe it either.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

Of Mice and Men.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

"Honk if you love me!"

Cat plays an arcade game that involves shooting at gun into a mouse hole.

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"I'm not his best friend. But he is in my extended network."

"I hate it..."

"You're famous, Angus."

"Don't tell anyone, but some of my best cartoons are about cats."

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

'What? I'm scratching the sofa! I'm not! And if I was? It's your fault!'

'That's my weird Uncle Benny. He claims that he was abducted by aliens in white lab coats.'

"I've been at loose ends lately."

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

"Yes, the market did advance this week, Rebecca, but we feel it's somewhat of a 'dead-cat bounce.'"

Hog Futures

A squirrel talks about Margaret Atwood

Squirrel chopping wooden leg of lumberjack.

'So....how many hours were you practising half pass this morning?'