Ironic Animal Lover Pillows

'I'm just outside feeding the birds.'

"Psst. . .he's not even looking up here....keep real still and he'll never notice us!"

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

'Knuth! How many times did I tell you not to play with the food??!!'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

"I'll tell you how much wood I could chuck if I could—a lot, like, half a cord!"

'Scary movie?'

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

'Leap frog? No thanks- I'm a toad.'

I loved Venice: So many statues to perch upon and people to feed you...

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

Hog Futures

Pavlov's Dog, Ph.D.

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

I've been doing sit-ups!

"I've never known a child like him. He's always finding things."

Working from Home

'Is the dead mouse played with before it's prepared?'

"Forget about eating homework, I need you to carry my backpack!"

'Fowl!'

"Hello, my Baby! Hello, my Sweetie! Hello, my Ragtime Gal..."

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

"I've always been a big Otis Redding fan."

'Aren't you glad we gave her a rabies vaccination this year?'

"Student unicorn"

"Don't complain. Remember, last week they had us on martinis."

'Well yes, they sent me into space: But to be perfectly honest, I had no idea as to what was going on...'

Hamlet, the Mouse Version.

'Come on children, last one out's a rotten egg.'

'At least when they shear you, they finish the job... Look at me! I look ridiculous...'