Ironclad Aficionado Gifts

Interior of the Turret of the Monitor Montauk- Rifled Shell Gun Left, Cannon Right

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

Ironing day.

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"I don't know, it's just the whole Dark Ages thing. It's got me down."

Oh, the armor is state of the art

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

'Doctor, how can I prevent wrinkles? Don't sleep in your clothes.'

"No, you don't need to slay a dragon or go on a quest to prove your love to me. I just want you to keep your castle a hell of a lot cleaner."

Captain Pointy No.38 - Fan club meeting a trap

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

I only built the moat to keep the cats out.

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

"I might be down the pub a bit later, Brian, I'm just trying to smooth a few things with the missus."

'Have no fear - I'll have the project completed for you in no time.'

Long suffering cricket wife

'He must not have been an easy man to care for. He always had an iron will. Which brings us to what he left you.'

"I think he said he doesn't want to be your press secretary any more."

Pressing Problem

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

'What the hell is PIG IRON?'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

'It's a bet - If I don't take this next one down, I owe you a hundred bucks.'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

'Don't add potassium nitrate to anything this year.'

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

'This is great! We should holiday at home next year too!'