Iron Aficionado Gifts

'What the hell is PIG IRON?'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

"Mind if we play through?"

'Oh flips! I've forgot me anvil again!'

'Could you please help me write an essay on the iron age?'

'Abort the mission! I think I forgot to turn my iron off before we left!'

'Marriage is okay, I guess, but I sure will be glad when my wife learns not to starch my jeans.'

Pressing Problem

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Portrait of a Lady"

Golfing Boss

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

"You are being overly-defensive again, Brenda!"

The Loch Ness Rowing Team

"It was a lot more satisfying before 'catch and release.'"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

'Before you come with me, tell me...does this robe look a little rumpled to you? I don't think the dry cleaners got the creases out, do you?'

The Snarky District

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

Ironing day.

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

Wonders of Evolution: This species has developed an unusual protective shell.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

'No, this metal stress can't be fixed with liberal doses of antidepressants.'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle