Ironclad Contract Enthusiast Gifts

'There, but for the grace of an ironclad contract go I.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Let's run it through legal.'

"Reduced budgets are a challenge...Rather than just talk you through it we'd like to give you a practical demonstration of how to 'maximise' resources from limited resources."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

Self raising Lazarus.

'You're close to becoming the indispensable man, Grisnill - you keep finding loopholes.'

Bad Influence of TV

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

Naval Battle off Memphis, Leading to Capture of City

"Your call is very important to us. Please hold the line...for eternity!"

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'Well, the new contract appears to be a win-win, just not for physicians.'

Employee help

A dog brings a cherub to their owner

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

Due Diligence Man

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'