Contract Crusaders Gifts

"How's this? 'Employee grants to Company, throughout the universe, the omniverse, including all fictional universes of parallel universes yet to be discovered...'"

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

"I know it's not in our nature, but we really gotta stop charging everything."

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'Let's run it through legal.'

"Somebody in Boise needs my help. Run a credit check."

"I don't see much borrowing on your credit report but I do see a lot of begging and stealing."

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

Not The Real Me