Contract Crusader Gifts

'Remember to bill for the time it takes to bill for the time it takes to bill.'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"So make me an offer."

"They said their contract was too complicated....so we've shortened it!"

'Let's run it through legal.'

Realistic terms of agreement options. . .

"That's our legal department."

"This contract just won't do, good God a child could understand it."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

"As a salesman, I'm an honest guy. Before we enter into a relationship I want to read the small print."

"But I don't need a reason. It says right here that I can fire him 'just cause'."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"Whether we are insured for small print in our contracts?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

Strike That Clause

Employee help

"...And management said it was their final offer and if I didn't like it, I could go to hell! So, here I am!"

'Well, the new contract appears to be a win-win, just not for physicians.'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

The Devil's in the detail!

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.