Contract Warrior Gifts

"Great...I need to use the phone top ring for help to understand the contract so I can buy the phone."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

The Devil's in the detail!

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Let's run it through legal.'

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

"You're one of the short termed employed. You're out of here tomorrow."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

Corporate Lawyers

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'You're close to becoming the indispensable man, Grisnill - you keep finding loopholes.'

"Of course, we can't pay you. But just think of all the exposure you'll be getting!"

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"One day, this will all be yours. But right now, I need you down in the warehouse."

Contractor Ants

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

The Contract Culture: 'Jump.'

Estate Agent Office

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

The Chinese want to know what capitalism is worth and will we take half for it?

Annual pursuit of free agents in the off-season.

"Do you realize that by signing this you're entitled to nothing my client has accumulated before he met you?" "Yes."

"I'm off to the sales!"