Contract Enthusiast Gifts

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"Sign here to indicate you have no idea what you've signed for."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

"Just sign here - yes, in blood."

'Son, the lease on your room requires you to keep the room in good order at all times.'

"The contract was binding. The super glue wasn't necessary."

'Sorry, but pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Hey hold on...I'm reading the small print!"

Attorney - Pre-nups, post-nups, just shacking up-nups.

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'Any pre-existing illnesses?'

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

Contract signers fee more than the contracts worth

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

'We've negotiated a contract in which my client agrees to always give it 104 percent.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

Yes, I want your advice, what's your condition? Tell. No. One. I can't tell anyone you gave me advice. No problem. Not just that. You can't tell anyone my advice. Please sign here, and here, initial at the bottom. What? You give advice all the time on the radio. That's watered down. That's not P.U.S. Pure Undiluted Sadie. Next week: Sadie counsels Rudy creating … A Rudy made in Sadie's image. Oh, friends, it won't be pretty, not pretty at all but pretty mean …

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Don't forget to read the small print.

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."