Contract Connoisseur Gifts

'They presented us with an ironclad contract that we were able to totally reinterpret.'

'Okay, Simms, we have a verbal agreement, but I'd like my lawyer to check it.'

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'That's where we at the fine print.'

'We just created a living trust and I have no idea what to feed it.'

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'Don't sign any binding agreements that we can't un-bind.'

'No contract, no work.'

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'You didn't read the small print, sir - Your ticket restricts you to a seat kicked continuously by a small child.'

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."

'This agreement doesn't allow much wiggle room.'

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

"You can not go around calling me incompetent. That falls under attorney client priveledge."

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

Jungle of Paragraphs.

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

'Can you rewrite this contract? There's actually a section in here that people can understand?'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

Don't forget to read the small print.

"... Sure. I'll agree to a verbal contract, so long as you agree to sign it."

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

"Now, if you'll just sign right here, Mr. Hark, you'll make the biggest mistake of your life!"

"Too wordy...I'm kidding. I just get a kick out of saying that."

'I may or may not sign. Show me the fine print.'

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"Now tell me your legal problem very slowly, with every detail, no matter how irrelevant. Feel free to digress, babble and, especially, backtrack."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

'This phone is wireless but the leasing agreement I signed has plenty of strings attached.'

"I always find the Contract Attorney's Special amusing. The price is always in extremely fine print."