Contract Connoisseur T-Shirts

'They presented us with an ironclad contract that we were able to totally reinterpret.'

'Okay, Simms, we have a verbal agreement, but I'd like my lawyer to check it.'

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'It's ok, he's signed - release his children.'

"What happened to the good old days when people just breached contracts?'

'That's where we at the fine print.'

'We just created a living trust and I have no idea what to feed it.'

'These are tough times to be a contract law attorney. Everything's written in stone.'

'Don't sign any binding agreements that we can't un-bind.'

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'No contract, no work.'

"The fine print, in the contract, can be read only if held up to a mirror."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'What the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'This agreement doesn't allow much wiggle room.'

'You didn't read the small print, sir - Your ticket restricts you to a seat kicked continuously by a small child.'

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional..."

"You can not go around calling me incompetent. That falls under attorney client priveledge."

Jungle of Paragraphs.

'I'm afraid, Reverend, that what the large print giveth, the small print taketh away.'

'The fine print can be read only if held up to a mirror.'

'Can you rewrite this contract? There's actually a section in here that people can understand?'

'During discovery we found five more things to bill about.'

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

"... Sure. I'll agree to a verbal contract, so long as you agree to sign it."

Don't forget to read the small print.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

'I may or may not sign. Show me the fine print.'

Publishing Clauses Of The '90s.

"Now tell me your legal problem very slowly, with every detail, no matter how irrelevant. Feel free to digress, babble and, especially, backtrack."

"It's a pretty standard contract - just sign here below, ' ... and hung by the neck until dead.'"

"Too wordy...I'm kidding. I just get a kick out of saying that."

"Now, if you'll just sign right here, Mr. Hark, you'll make the biggest mistake of your life!"

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."