Contractual Connoisseur T-Shirts

'I absolutely refuse to sign anything which requires a microscope and a stepladder to read it!'

"Damned if they do and damned if they don't? This is BRILLIANT work, everybody! Why didn't we think of this before?"

"No, damn it, we keep Tuffy."

I note you've made a claim on your fire and theft policy.

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

Men's business romper.

Dialogue

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

With the popularity of spell-checkers, many people are turning to the new speech-checkers.

'Why don't you try seeing it from your point of view?'

"Help! I'm surrounded by idiots."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

"Oh! It's you! I was expecting the machine."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

Tarzan has gone into advertising. He's king of the jingle now.

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Miss Duxbury, put me through to someone."

Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

Harvey went to the kitchen to top up his gin and tonic. When he came back, things took an unexpected turn.

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"It's not easy texting my mother. She's an English teacher and all she does is correct my spelling."

"I missed your last few words. Would you please mumble them again?"

"He's in a meeting, but you have 25 seconds to leave a video message."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

MARRIAGE COUNSELOR, 'Our biological clocks are in different time zones.'

"You can't quit my bridal fashion business. It says so in the prenup, I man the non-compete agreement!"

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"I love my new texting app, it automatically selects peoples preferred pronouns."