Contract Law Crusader Gifts

Due Diligence Man

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

Planet of the Lawyers

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

"'C' is for free CONTENT!"

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

'No, copyright does not mean you have the right to copy it.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"I have always depended on the content of strangers."

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

"What makes me a great attorney, as opposed to an adequate one? - My brother, the judge."

Flushing Democracy

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'