Legal Contract Aficionado Gifts

Suggestions/Terms and Conditions

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

They Are Not Going to Take Me

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."