Legal Contract Aficionado Gifts

Suggestions/Terms and Conditions

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Do you have a good attorney or a bad attorney?"

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Great news, Mr. Corrigan. That large, life-threatening lump we removed from your back turned out to be your lawyer."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'Hello. My father is an attorney. This is how I allegedly spent my summer vacation.'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"I should have been a lawyer. I'm great at ambulance chasing!"

"Sign our updated non-compete agreement. It now includes nasty comments on social media."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

"Impartiality becomes you."

'You were convicted by the jury, but at least you were acquitted by the media.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

"We, the jury, award the plaintiffs 100 trillion dollars - just because."

'Court is recessed until the big hand is on the three.'