Company Crusader Gifts

"According to IT, the security leak is coming from your workstation."

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

Farmers' Warnings.

Twisted Peel works overtime.

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

He calls it 'delegating authority' I call it 'passing the buck'

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'Let's run it through legal.'

Not The Real Me

Union organizer in a hostile workplace. . .

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

"We appreciate the good job you're doing, but can you do it more thanklessly?"

"Lunchward ho!"

"Get back here and clean out your desk."

"Daddy needs to relax. He spent another long day at work extolling the virtues of his stand up desk."

A man with a deflated bicycle stands in line at the tire inflator.

Welcome to your 7395 consecutive day of working on this case.

"Today's meeting is about meeting to plan a meeting to arrange a meeting about managing our meetings."