Corporate Crusader Gifts

'They never let you forget that your intellectual property belongs to them.'

'A glass ceiling?...Don't be ridiculous. The sign works just fine.'

"Today's meeting is about meeting to plan a meeting to arrange a meeting about managing our meetings."

"Don't listen to her - she's a control freak. Now, let me tell you what you're gonna do."

'Look, I agree that you deserve the same salary as your male counterparts, but I have a responsibility to defend the traditional pay structure.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

"My mistake was buying shares in the company. I now worry about the lousy work I turn out."

Women's day - one of the chaps.

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Suggestion box/Unreasonable Demands box

'Where do you see yourself five years from now?'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Mommy, you'll never guess what. My hi-tech start-up just merged with a Fortune 500 company.'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I warned you not to ask for a shorter work week.'

"Lunchward ho!"

'We need to maintain our credibility so we can lie to the consumer.'

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

"The Sales Department suggests we teach Customer Service personnel how to assist customers without telling them where to go."

"Item 4 on the agenda - Serving the common good"

"Sir, I have a bone to pick with you."

"We appreciate the good job you're doing, but can you do it more thanklessly?"

Bob realized that somehow he didn't like joint vulture deals.'

'The tough part of making a living is that you have to do it all over again tomorrow.'

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

'Ladies and gentlemen, we fought the good fight.. now let's sue.'

Romney's Poison Pill

'Where's this compensation you were talking about?'

'Never forget that as you move up the corporate ladder, there will always be some jerk below trying to look up your skirt.'

'A tip jar does not constitute a raise!'

'He can be kind of explosive.'

'I just can't understand why we haven't more girls at the top...'

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'