Ikea Aficionado Gifts

"We got it on sale in IKEA!"

Recycled cardboard coffins are so light.

"Nicely illustrated but the plot's a bit thin."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Meet Stephen Krkzk Author of 'Why Conspiracy Theories Are Nonsense'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

Alien David statue

"Good Lord! Life on Mars...adorable life on Mars!"

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"Don't worry - I'm here for the television."

The aliens froze, gripped by a primal fear. This time there would be no abduction.

"Please ask your pet to kindly put down the weapon."

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

Hair Crop Circle

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

'Actually, we were hoping you guys would have the solution to all our problems.'

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

Apple Pie Abduction

"Take me to your Larder!"

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

An alien in his space ship sees a space sign that says 'You are here'

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

"Stupid map ... that dot must cover 10,000 cubic light years."

The flies have landed.

"Sorry...but until we fix the cloaking device, this will have to do."

Alien Assumption

'Gravity...Go figure!'

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."