Ikea Instruction Aficionado Gifts

"He's the best man in our cipher department, sir. Even we don't understand his stuff. He used to do assembly instructions for Ikea."

Where Indian ink came from.

"I think you'll find the pen is writier than the sword."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

Stationers' sign leaking ink onto a passer-by.

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

"I got tired of wearing a hat."

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

Penny

'As soon as I get a small tattoo, I'm going to take up yoga.'

Shakespeare in the clink

'I ink, therefore I am....'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

"Why the hell would you want a bison on your arm?"

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

Printers

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Tattoo and Piercing...Stares by an angry, judgmental mother.

Futons/Futoffs

'The Pen Is Mightier...Still.'

Trees tattoo

The Coffee Tattoo

Manual Worker

Young woman shows off her tattoos.

'Sorry, but I think your Mondrian tattoo was a mistake.'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

"Dad, I was thinking...can I get a tattoo...right here!"

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

"I used to be withdrawn. Now I'm overdrawn."

'Never mind what I see. The better question is, why are you obsessed with my bodily functions?'

'I've been transferred again.'

'It's definitely a tattoo that I can reflect on in the future.'

"How much more for pinstripes?"

"I warned you that tattoo wouldn't change colour."