Ikea Lover Gifts

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

(oil - petroleum - gushing out of inkwell)

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

'You just don't know when to stop, do you?'

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

Koala

Surfing koala.

"Well, you both sleep eighteen hours a day, so try to coordinate this to find a window for some quality time together..."

Quills - Sizes 1-9

Desert Island Fantasies

Just fifty miles north of Easter Island...

Customer to skin artist: 'Can I just get a tattoo of a body piercing?'

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Futons/Futoffs

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'I hear the Met office is predicting further Arctic weather conditions.'

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

Giant Birthday Cake

"You're in trouble now.You just threw that lightening bolt in the same place as the last one!"

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'

"I got inked my most hilarious cartoon."

'It's a military tattoo!'

"Seems another philanthropist has beaten us here."

"You're tattooed all over although you're not a football pro?! Man, that's cultural appropriation!"

9 To 5 Tattoo.

"How may I hurt you?"

"Wow! Why do you have no tattoos?"

This will never work. Our tattoos don't match.

"I swear, '€#$%&' is a real quote from the Dalai Lama! To be fair though, I had just stepped on his toe..."

"Do you suppose the planet's been saved yet?"