Quirky Instruction Admirer Gifts

The obvious

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

Manual Worker

"You know that thing where you stand like a statue, then move real fast, then stand like a statue again? You totally stole that from me."

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'

'I picked up my Latin from watching Roadrunner cartoons.'

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

'Sir, one question... When will we know if we've run-out of invisible ink?'

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

"Stick what up?"

Gravestone Epitaph - 'One surreal gag too far.'

'A sinkhole ate my homework...?'

"Are you binge watching again?"

Frightfulness! Germans Training Wasps to Sting Highlanders in Flanders.

Funky Facts: A slug has no teeth, 2 teeth or over 25,000 teeth?

"This is quite a surprising discovery." "Then write it up for 'The Journal of Surprising Discoveries'."

"My boss combines the impulsive joie de vivre of Ebenezer Scrooge with the empathy and comradeship of a tarantula. Less hair, though."

Giant Cat in the Sky

Advanced Origami

How Cartoon Characters Shave. (Frank applies White Out to his whiskers.)

"I wanted to use the lockdown productively, I learned cosmetic surgery."

"Remember, it's dong after ding except when it's bling. Then it's bong."

'Section 9c - 'Kill yourself if this clock radio malfunctions' '

"I'd like you to hop up and down on one foot and perhaps sing a little childhood ditty."

Operating Instructions: 1) Grasp railing firmly with left hand. 2) Place right foot on nearest step. (directions for climbing stairs)

Institute Of Multi-Tasking

The Gnu Gnormal

For manual operation

'Oscar! You just have to get closer to your spittoon!'

"...We can't just drive off when he's half way through."

"Hey Ned, tell your ironmonger I like his sense of humour"