Quirky Instruction Follower Gifts

"I'd like you to hop up and down on one foot and perhaps sing a little childhood ditty."

Weird things I do because of the internet

Having been born with a birthmark that looks exactly like Asia and the Mideast, Russell was able to ace the geography portion of the SATs.

"It was your idea to install the TV dish on the church spire"

Scientist has note on chalkboard: E=mc2 + 6% sales tax.

'I can't get out! -- I lost the owner's manual!'

Birds doing the 'wave'.

"And today children, Homer is going to show us his 'pressed fly and bug collection'."

"We understand you wish to report a crime Madam? I'm Inspector La Garde and this is my able assistant Defective Constable Wallis."

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

Manual Worker

"...And forgive the congregation member who left their cell phone on and it rang during the sermon!"

"You're applying for this job because your mother told you to. Well, I guess that's a good thing in a compliance officer."

Man getting into his space suit the wrong way up

"Everyone seems to be having no trouble assembling our products. Apparently, we're making our instructions too easy."

There were occasional moments when she questioned her decision to work with truly gifted students.

'You can't just get up and leave without permission.'

Any last questions about the bright future of Yell? Yes, you there. Me? I wasn't raising my hand. I was waving my phone in the air to show support, like at a rock concert. I guess, though, if I had a question, it'd be how did I get so lucky to invest in a website that publishes restaurant reviews from a screaming baby. Neither ironic, nor a plant. Weird. Can I increase my share? I could invest more if I stop eating.

Torn between taking the advice in her hiking manual and her impulse to help, Morgan Hirschi is frozen with indecision.

'I know, I know. You're stripes. I get it, already.'

"This is quite a surprising discovery." "Then write it up for 'The Journal of Surprising Discoveries'."

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'It's a new commandment by the church of Danae...thou shalt make room for donuts.'

'Okay, you can watch 'animal planet'....just don't try any of that stuff at home.'

"This is why you read the instructions."

'It's the latest thing. I got him done at www.snuffed and stuffed.com!'

'You lied to me- I'm not a lemming am I?'

"Wait – how many seasons is this?"

Sign on sidewalk: 'Please direct your feet to the sunny side of the street...'

Advanced Origami

'Sorry Ruby! New rule!' 'Jinxing other players by means of shamans, warlocks, witch-doctors, voodoo-men no longer permitted!' The Management

Four days later, it occurred to Geoff that he may have been taking the 'lather, rinse, repeat' instructions too literally.

"I wanted to use the lockdown productively, I learned cosmetic surgery."

"The first rule of Musical Chairs Club is. . . you have to get out of your chairs!"

The obvious

"Remember, it's dong after ding except when it's bling. Then it's bong."