Internet Scam Detective Gifts

'I need it to fly to Nigeria to pick up my prize.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

Alternative Medicine

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"Honey, are we watching TV or is it watching us?"

The new Physics

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

"Hacking and eavesdropping are my top skills. I guess you could say I'm a good listener."

"I only told a few friends."

Tiger discovers the online wildlife trade.

Vacancy at the Ecuadoran Embassy

I'd rather be phishing.

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Spam traps on mobiles

"They'll never guess how we stole their data."

"I think Baxter needs a break."

"If this is secret information the government doesn't want us to know, how come we can read about it on facebook?"

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

'I find if I'm the first one in and the first one out, Ponzi schemes can be very lucrative.'

'Computer crime' 'To see your belongings visit our website www,burgular.com'

"...and for your part in the computer fraud I sentence you to eighteen months @www.hermajestiesprison.co.uk"

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

"The tweet you posted last night struck a chord around the world, united all factions, and basically altered the course of humanity."

The Darknet starts right here.

"We've gleaned all we need to know about you from the internet, but we'll keep your resume as a great example of creative writing."

Able to Google Stuff Man

"I don't know man. It sounds a lot like a pyramid scheme to me."

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."